


Sweet revenge

by Amie33



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:52:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1424149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amie33/pseuds/Amie33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor swears as he steps out of the shower, only to find that his towel has disappeared. As a matter of fact he realises, after opening all the bathroom cabinets, that all the towels are gone and so are his clothes. He huffs and runs his fingers through his dripping hair in impatience. “River!” He has no doubt that she is the one who has taken his clothes and towels. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and he is totally aware of the reason why she keeps doing it, and yes it’s his fault, but it’s been years, and he’s growing tired of her reminding him every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet revenge

**Author's Note:**

> I probably should add a warning for this fic because there's a knife involved at some point during the smut, and well a knife cuts. But there's only a little mention of the blood, and I have to say, everything is consented. I wanted to play with the side of this ship, the fact that they know they are both dangerous and they could both harm each other, kill each other if they wanted - but it's not something terrifying for them, at the contrary it's one of the reasons why they're so attracted to each other.  
> I also should add a warning because the idea of this fic is - I won't say ridiculous but don't ask me HOW I could think about something like that. I just did. 
> 
> Also a HUGE thanks for Sam who beta'd this fic. I LOVE YOU.

The Doctor swears as he steps out of the shower, only to find that his towel has disappeared. As a matter of fact he realises, after opening all the bathroom cabinets, that all the towels are gone and so are his clothes. He huffs and runs his fingers through his dripping hair in impatience. “River!” He has no doubt that she is the one who has taken his clothes and towels. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and he is totally aware of the reason why she keeps doing it, and yes it’s his fault, but it’s been _years_ , and he’s growing tired of her reminding him every day.

He screams her name again as he exits the bathroom, only to find himself in one of the cold corridors of the TARDIS instead of his warm bedroom. He puffs even more and shakes his head angrily. “You’re not taking her side again, are you?” he shouts out to the ship, who trembles around him and dims the lights, the air of the corridor getting colder at the same time and the Doctor shivers, still totally wet and dripping on the floor. “Ok, fine, you stand with her if you want, I’m sorry.” The air immediately gets warmer and the lights shine normally again, and he whispers a thank you, before mumbling again about the stupid character of his wife and his ship (if the TARDIS hears him, at least she doesn’t threaten him again).

The Doctor starts wandering in the corridors, looking for something to dry himself with and clothes to wear, but apparently tonight River is very angry, and he can’t find a thing. He opens a few dressing rooms but they are all empty, his bedroom has totally disappeared, and there’s not even a rag to cover his most intimate parts. At least, after a few minutes he is dried.

“River, please,” he shouts out, hoping she’s still somewhere in the ship and will take pity on him, “can I have my clothes back now? This is not funny. I know this is my fault, I shouldn’t have, I apologise. Please, forgive me. River!”

“Doctor, why are you shouting in the middle of the night and… oh my god.”

He yelps in surprise as he recognises Amy’s voice, and tries to cover himself at the same time as she brings her hand up to her face to cover her eyes.

“Doctor! You’re not wearing any clothes!”

“Yes, I know,” he sighs out, feeling himself blushing, and he’s glad Amy still can’t see him.

“Please tell me you have something to make me forget I’ve ever seen what I’ve seen.”

“Well, er… maybe. There are these things called memory worms, if you touch them quickly they can erase your--”

“Worms?” she cuts him off, “Erk, never, it’s disgusting, I’ll try to survive. But what on earth are you doing in the middle of the night, shouting _naked_ in the corridors?”

“I…” he starts and stops, letting out a pitiful whine. “It’s River. She took my clothes.”

“Stop it!” Amy shouts, “I don’t want to know anything about you and my daughter taking each other’s clothes. Oh lord, too late, I have _images_ now, no, I hate you, couldn’t you just be _discreet_ when you’re doing some private things?”

“What?” the Doctor feels himself blushing even more, “No, no, we weren’t… It’s not what you think. We don’t, well, sometimes we do obviously but no, no, not tonight. She’s angry.”

Amy uncovers her eyes, surprised by his reply, before remembering he’s still naked and puts her hand back on her face. “Angry? What have you done?”

“Me? Why do you assume it’s my fault?”

“Doctor, I know you.” If he could see her eyes, he is sure they would glare at him accusingly. “And you’re the one wandering naked in your ship, so I assume you must have done something very wrong…”

He sighs in defeat. “Maybe.”

“Okay, you tell me. But first, you need clothes. Wait here.”

She disappears in her room without glancing at him, and he waits in the corridors, stamping his feet. He vaguely hears her rummaging in her own wardrobe, and the sleepy voice of Rory asking what is happening, before she finally comes back with a pile of clothes.

“Here, take those. There are Rory’s, so they might be a bit too short, and not your usual style, but you can’t talk to me naked.”

"Thank you."

The Doctor reaches out for the clothes, before remembering that if he holds his hands out he won’t be covering himself anymore, and he yelps and puts them back in place hastily. The clothes fall on the floor and he blushes as Amy glares at him.

“Ok, you know what? I’ll be in the kitchen making us some tea while you’re dressing up.” With that she turns on her heels and he’s very glad to see her disappear. He sighs in relief and checks twice that she’s really gone and won’t come back before finally taking the clothes. The jeans stop a few inches above his ankles, and the shirt has some promotional stuff for a band he doesn’t know on the front, but at least the clothes cover him up. He feels like a proper human being again (or a proper time lord, as it happens).

When he finds Amy in the kitchen, he can see her smiling and knows she’s fighting not to laugh at him, but he’s glad that she doesn’t say anything. When he sits next to her and she places a steaming cup of tea in front of him, he already feels better.

“So, tell me what happened,” she asks after a few sips, and he sighs.

“I did something, and she hasn’t forgiven me yet.”

“What did you do?”

“It was a long time ago, years, why is she still angry with me?”

“What did you do?” Amy repeats again and he knows there’s no way he can escape her.

“I can’t tell you,” he replies anyway, because there is no way he can. It’s too embarrassing. He feels himself reddening at the mere memory of it.

“Did you forget her birthday? Your anniversary? Criticise her job again?”

“No.”

“Step on her feet? Arrive two years late at one of your dates?”

“No… yes. I mean, I did this, once, okay, maybe twice, but this isn’t the reason why she’s angry.”

It’s Amy’s turn to sigh. “Why she still loves you, sometimes I don’t understand. I hope you know how lucky you are.”

He nods, looking at the steam coming from his tea as he bites his lips to stop himself from telling Amy she has no idea how lucky he is. There are things she doesn’t want to know.

“Right, so it’s more important then. Is it something private?” He doesn’t reply but blushes instead, and it’s enough for his friend to know it’s a yes. “It’s more serious that I thought. Okay… Did you fall asleep in the middle of action?”

“What? No!”

“Did you say she was bad in bed? Compare her boobs with some alien ugly stuff? Say someone else’s name?” The Doctor blushes at the last one and Amy immediately stops. He doesn’t even dare to look at her, knowing what he will see on her face; surprise and anger. “Doctor, no! How could you… It’s River!”

“I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I hope you didn’t!” He lowers his head even more, feeling the same shame and guilt he had the day he made the mistake.

“I… I apologised. More than once. I didn’t even know who she was at the time, and I was worrying about you, you were a flesh copy and I had no idea how I could get you out, it was --”

“Oh my god,” she cuts him off, and he looks up, wondering what he has let out that was more awful that his previous confession. “You did not… Doctor… Is it my name that you said?”

He gapes at her, and he really wants to tell her that no, it isn’t her name that he said, but the words can’t come out of his mouth, and it’s too late. She knows.

“You can’t! Oh my god. You said _my_ name while you were shagging _my daughter_. Doctor!” She smacks him on the arm, hard, and he cries in pain and surprise. But he can’t complain. He knows he deserves it. He knows he deserves everything River’s done since that day - put sea urchins in all his socks and pants, stuck all his hats together with strong glue, tore his hats apart, dyed all his shirts pink…

“I’m sorry,” he whines, hiding his head between his hands, “I’m really sorry. It was an accident, and I apologised.” He gulped as he remembered. Amy didn’t need to know the details. “I did, lots of times, but she hasn’t stopped. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Amy shakes her head, and he isn’t sure if doing so she is answering to him or trying to erase the memories of what he’s just told her. “No, you don’t understand. There’s nothing you can do. She doesn't want your apologies; she wants revenge.”

The Doctor gulps. “I know, Amy, I know. But how long will it last? And what can I do to make her stop?”

“There’s nothing you can do. She will only stop when she thinks you’ve had enough. I would do the same if I were her.”

He nods, holding his tea as his only comfort. “And how long do you think it will last?”

Amy takes a few seconds to reply, and the Doctor knows before she opens her mouth that he won’t like the answer. “Knowing my daughter, probably forever.”

He closes his eyes and whines, defeated. He can’t believe he’s started an endless war with his wife, and that he will surely lose it. And it was just a stupid accident.

x.

**_Years earlier_ **

“Amy!”

He doesn’t realise the name slips from his lips, and yelps in surprise as he’s suddenly pushed on his back and slapped. The next second River gets out of the bed, and he groans in frustration and pain as her warm body is replaced by the cold air of the room on his skin, and his cheek burns from the slap.

“River,” he gapes at her as she rummages in the room for her clothes and he doesn’t understand.

“Yes, exactly. _River._ My name is River.”

She’s clearly fulminating, and it takes a few second for the Doctor to realise why. Then he suddenly remembers, and feels himself blush furiously. He can’t believe he said Amy’s name instead of hers. He feels like he’s never been so embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, River I’m sorry. I didn’t want to… I wasn’t thinking…”

“Obviously you were thinking, sweetie, but not about me.” She doesn’t even look at him, throwing clothes everywhere before she finally finds what she’s looking for and slips her knickers in.

“It’s not what you’re thinking. I’m worried about her and I got distracted…” he tries to explain, but she doesn’t let him continue.

“Exactly.” She points a finger out to him, and he’s glad she has left her gun in the console room. He feels like she could kill him while just looking at him, and he wishes the covers of the bed could be enough to hide him from her. “You were _distracted._ You can’t be distracted while fucking me!”

He trembles, the tone of her voice so harsh the walls almost shake with her anger. She’s just wearing a pair of knickers and most of the women he knows would feel highly vulnerable in her position, but not River. River looks strong and powerful, pointing her dress as a weapon, and he gulps in fear. And, what’s most embarrassing, he finds her even sexier like that, his erection more painful than ever.

“I’m sorry,” he babbles, trying to focus on something to say instead of letting his growing desire mixed with fear rule him. “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t--”

“Don’t,” she cuts him, and he closes his mouth immediately. One does not simply disobey River when she’s in that state. He doesn’t know everything about her yet, but he knows enough to guess that if he wants to stay alive now, he has to do everything she says. “Don’t you dare attempt to find any pitiful excuse for me. You don’t want to see me crosser that I am already. Believe me. I may love you, but I could kill you so fast you wouldn’t even realise it.”

His previous suspicions are proven to be right, and he gulps once more and nods. He has no reason not to believe what she says is true. She has already proven she is more than ordinary, and if she says she can kill him, she probably can. Maybe she already has. He feels another shiver run through his body at the thought, thrilled and excited. He starts to understand why his future self will fall for her. She’s dangerous and mad, powerful, and so so sexy when she’s cross.

“It’s unfair,” he declares as she turns on her heels, slipping into her dress and looking for her shoes - at least he guesses it’s her shoes, but maybe he’s wrong and she’s looking for a weapon to kill him here and now. She tenses as he speaks, but he continues. It’s probably madness, but he can’t let her go, not when she’s so angry and so beautiful. “I think of you all day long, wonder who you are, try to find clues, think about everything you’ve done or said. I can’t wrap my head around you and your mystery. I think about you all the time, every second when you’re not here, and every second when you’re with me. But for one second, one little fraction of time, I have a bigger issue on my mind, and it had to come out when I’m with you. I think it’s unfair.”

River just glances at him as he stops, before she turns her back to him again. He sighs and runs trembling hands into his hair. He can’t believe he’s ruining everything. She’s going to go out without another word, and he can’t let that happen. He has to find something.

“How will you do it?”

He knows it’s a stupid idea, and dangerous, and maybe he will be dead in a few minutes. But he can’t let her go. He needs to talk to her, to have a reaction from her, even if he risks his life - he has already ruined everything anyway, he has nothing else to lose. So he thinks of it as a kind of test. A way to know more about her, see if she’s as mad as she seems. See if she’s as amazing as he thinks.

He almost cries in victory as she faces him and frowns. “Do what?”

“Kill me. How will you do it?”

She lets go of the sock she’s holding and stares at him. The features of her face don’t loosen, but somehow she doesn’t seem as angry as she was a second ago. Her anger is mixed with something else. He realises he has succeeded in surprising her, pricking her curiosity, and he can’t help but be a little proud at this. She surely hasn’t expected him to ask this question.

“Most people think the regeneration is an issue, but I disagree,” she eventually says, and desire grows even more inside of him as she starts walking in his direction. She talks calmly, scientifically, matter-of-factly, as if she’s exposing a simple lesson to a child. He can feel the threat in her tone, even more frightening because of the anger which lies beneath the words, waiting for the right moment to explode.

He can’t help but think once again how wonderful she is.

“Regeneration won’t prevent me from killing you. I just have to do it twice, to stop both of your hearts, or to distract you enough so you won’t even think about regenerating before it’s too late.”

She’s standing at the foot of the bed now, right in front of him, looking at him like he’s prey and she will devour him. He withstands her piercing gaze as a challenge, and her mouth corners into a smile. She will kill him and enjoy herself very much, and he believes he will enjoy it too.

“Do you really want to know how?” she asks then, and to hell with his future self, he realises the exact moment the words leave her mouth, he’s already in love with her.

He nods and her eyes darken even more as he replies. “Please, tell me.”

She takes a few seconds, just looking at him, probably judging him and weighing the pros and cons of what’s going to happen. She’s still angry, but he knows she’s also as aroused as he is now, surely more considering she’s the one in charge. He can feel it, taste it in the air and see it on her skin, and she knows he knows. She could leave him here and she will win, while he would stay alone and painfully hard, and the physical pain wouldn’t be anything compared to the frustration of not knowing the information he wants; but she could also tell him, and show him, and she will still win because she will be the one controlling everything. She’ll be the one to decide, and that, she knows too, and obviously she’s enjoying it a lot.

“I could shoot you,” she eventually starts, pulling her dress up as she kneels on the bed, her legs settling both sides of his and he swears he can feel electricity spark as their skins touch. Her dress is short and tight, and as she sits on his lap it rides up even more, revealing the top of her thighs and he can even catch a glimpse of her knickers at the hem of it. The sight almost makes him forget what she’s saying. “Two bullets, one for each of your hearts. It would be fast and clean.” She puts her fingers on his chest, exactly where both his hearts are currently beating at a mad rhythm, and pushes him. She doesn’t even have to make any effort, he gladly takes the hint and falls on his back. She hums approvingly at his submission.

The Doctor waits for her next movement, trying to breathe calmly but failing miserably as River sits higher on his stomach and ignores his painful erection that twitches as her thighs brush not-accidently on it. She can’t have missed it though, as he can’t miss the wetness right between her legs where she’s sitting on his skin, and if he had to take the bet on who’s more excited between her and him, he has a feeling he would lose again.

“Fast and clean,” she repeats her last words as she looks at him and her fingers still pressed on his chest. “Is it what you want?”

“Does it matter?”

She raises a brow at him and smiles, obviously happy he gives her the power, once more. “No, no it doesn’t.”

“What do you want?” He answers with another question, and he can clearly feel the shiver running down her thighs as he does. She then bends until she’s close to him, her lips against his ear and he can feel her warm breath on his scalp, the movement of her mouth as she licks her lips and then speaks.

“I don’t want it to be fast and clean,” she confesses in a whisper. “What you’ve done was very wrong. I want your death to be slow, so you can think about what you’ve said and regret it.”

He gulps and almost yelps in surprise as she pulls back, only to replace her lips with a knife against his ear. He doesn’t know where the blade comes from, but it’s cold and real against his skin. One movement of her wrist and she could kill him. He feels sweat sliding on his forehead at the thought.

“I could cut you, not only once or twice. A thousand times, maybe a million times, in all the places.” She highlights her words by really cutting him, a little mark at the base of his neck, not deep but enough to make a few stains of blood appear; he can feel it drops, hot against his throat. She - the blade on his stomach then, the tip sliding against his skin, and she marks him a few more times, each time just enough to make a few red drops slip out of the wound. “It would drive you mad, all the pain that wouldn’t stop, and at the end you would beg me to kill you. A single motion, that’s all that I need, to cut your throat and both arteries that lead to both your hearts. You'd be dead in a second, and I promise you, you’d enjoy it.”

He can’t help but thrust up as she says the last words, and she bites her lips in a vain attempt to silence a moan that escapes her throat as he brushes against her. He can’t help it, and he won’t fight his growing desire for her. She’s magnificent. She’s angry, sexy and powerful, and she holds his life in her hands. He has never seen anyone more beautiful than her in his entire life. He wants to grab her by the waist and thrust into her and fuck her until he doesn’t remember who he is, but instead he grips the sheets tightly in his fists and lets her decide. She doesn’t even need handcuffs to keep him still, just a glance from her is enough to pin him down. He’s sure that she could make him come without even touching him more than she already is. Apparently it’s not her plan though, because the next thing he knows, her hands wrap around his aching erection as she shifts on her knees.

“Or I could take care of your cock,” she stretches her words with a movement of her hands and he closes his eyes briefly, trying not to instantly come into her hands, “do incredibly things to you, things you have never felt before, things I’m the only one to know, and it would be so good, oh...” She holds him as she positions herself, pulling her knickers away just enough so she can slide around him in a swift motion. She’s so aroused she can take all of him in without effort, wet and hot around him, pure bliss. If this is how she kills him, he would be glad to die every day for her.

“It would be so good,” she continues as she starts moving, and he fists his hands so hard now he can’t feel them anymore. If he’s honest, he can’t really feel anything but the movement of her sex around him as she rocks, up and down around him, a bit breathless as she talks. “You wouldn’t think about anything else but me and what I would do to you. You would come so hard you wouldn’t realise that I could snap your neck at the same time.”

He opens the eyes he hadn’t realised he’d closed as he feels the press of her hands against his neck, and finds her smiling at him. Oh, she is really enjoying herself, there is no doubt. She likes the effect she has on him, and the fact that she could do almost everything she wants right now and he would probably let her. Everything seems perfect; the curve of her lips, the smugness in her gaze, her own desire he can feel as she moves around him. And then her eyes flutter and she moans at one of his thrusts, and he sees his opportunity. It’s only a macro-second when she’s not totally focused on him but it’s enough. He grabs her wrists and shifts them until she’s the one pressed against the mattress and she’s lying under him, incapable of moving.

She yelps in surprised and it’s his turn to smile at her. It’s his turn to lead and he won’t waste it, pressing both her hands in his and upon her head, his other hand reaching for one of her legs and holding it higher on his waist. He starts thrusting inside her, deeper, faster, his cheeks pressed against hers and he’s pleased to hear her moan louder as he does. There’s no kind of rhythm, neither in his movements nor hers; the tension between them has been too high and needs to be broken.

“Don’t ever think you can beat me,” he whispers into her ears and he’s surprised to hear her chuckle in reply.

“Oh, Doctor… You have no idea. I always get what I want.”

She rolls her hips at the same time, and he doesn’t know what she’s doing that’s so special, but he sees stars and gasps as he comes. He grips River’s leg tighter and he can feel he’s taking her with him as she spasms around him, but between her moans he can hear her laugh in victory. It’s something he will remember for a long time, the sounds of her laugher in his ears, the feeling of her dress scraping his skin, the press of her thighs around his waist, her whole body enveloping him.  

When he opens his eyes River’s laughter has stopped and her hands are now stroking his back. Her breathing is slowing down and it’s a flagrant change from earlier, her touch gentle and calm. He smiles against her skin before pulling away enough to see her face; she smiles back at him and he can’t resist pressing his lips at the corner of her mouth. He sighs happily as he eases out of her and falls on his back next to her.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, finally saying aloud what he’s thought for the last few minutes. Surprisingly River doesn’t seem to be flattered, instead giggling at his words. He turns his head and frowns at her. “What?”

“Don’t think it’s over, Sweetie. You said Amy’s name instead of mine, and I won’t forget it so easily. Even if the sex was nice.”

He blinks, but she’s already jumping out of bed. She fluffs her hair and straightens her dress, and he doesn’t have the time to wrap his mind around that piece of information and find something to reply before she slipped her shoes on and is ready to leave the room.

“Wait, River, what do you mean?”

She turns back and winks at him. “Goodbye, Sweetie.”

With that she’s gone, and by the time he finds his trousers and races after her, the TARDIS is empty.

x.

A few weeks later, he finally discovers who she is, and he can’t help but blush as he remembers their last encounter and realises he said her mother’s name… He understands why she’s been so angry. At the same time, little things start to go wrong in the TARDIS - River’s revenge, according to Amy. It really feels like it anyway.

He spends weeks trying to find her - little Melody, to bring her back and safe to her mother and father, and older River, to apologise and make her stop. But he can’t find either.

Months pass and he eventually resigns himself to facing the Ponds again, to confess he can’t find Melody, and there he finds her. She’s too old to be the baby Amy and Rory are looking for, and she’s too young to be a River who knows him intimately, but she’s wonderful. She’s mad and dangerous, all new from regeneration, and he can barely hide his excitement as she points a gun at him, threatens him and flirts with him. She’s mad and dangerous, and as when he made that horrible mistake and said Amy’s name instead of hers, she’s wonderfully sexy.

And she was right on a point, he realises. She _can_ kill him, and he absolutely enjoys it. He doesn’t like the dying part of course, the slow deterioration of all his organs and the pain it causes, no, but he likes everything in the act of her killing him. The moment her body comes in contact with his, the press of her lips, the warmth of the poison entering his skin as she kisses him… It is amazing.

It is even more amazing as she saves him, and saves him again, years later on Lake Silencio. Of course it’s not really her that saves him this time, he can do it by himself with the little help from the Teselecta, thank you, but what she does that day is even as amazing as the moment she gave all her lives to bring him back to life. And he can’t resist her, can he? He has to admit he loves her, mad and wonderful, killing him, destroying the universe to try to change his fate. He loves her, and he marries her.

But it doesn’t change anything. He marries a young River, still naive and totally in love with him, who has already killed him twice, but there’s still an older her out there who hasn’t forgiven him. She keeps coming in and out of the TARDIS, never showing herself as she destroys, dyes, hides, corrupts his favourite things. Sometimes nothing happens for weeks, and he thinks she’s finally had enough, but then she comes up with something more horrible than the previous. She’s turning him mad, and even though he knows he deserves it, he wishes he could stop it. But as hard as he tries, he can’t seem to find a version of River who has lived this night yet, and he can’t tell her, he can’t apologise again and beg her to stop turning his life into a nightmare.

This is how he finds himself one day, naked, talking to Amy in front of a cup of tea, and his friend tells him what he has been scared of; maybe it’s never going to end.

It’s months after his conversation with Amy that the Doctor finally finds a River who knows. He can’t believe he has found her after all this time, and doesn’t waste his time, apologising again, but she stops him before he can even beg her to stop torturing him.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she apologises and he opens his eyes wide.

“You’re sorry? For what?”

“I shouldn’t have been so angry with you,” she confesses and he can’t believe it. “It was a mistake, I understand now,” she admits, nodding.

“Do you?”

“Yes.” She pauses, and he can see she’s going to say something he’s not going to enjoy just by the way her lips curl into a smile. “You know, since I've said Jack's name during sex…”

“You… What?” He almost strangles himself at the revelation, and gasps in shock. “No!” It can’t be true. He refuses it to be true.

“Oh yes.” She smiles with satisfaction, a little sigh escaping her lips, as if she’s remembering the details of whatever she has done with Jack…

“You can't!” he repeats, because he can’t believe it. River would never ever cheat on him, even if she was angry she couldn’t have. He knows her, and there’s no way what she’s saying is true.

“I have. But you have to admit it's very difficult not to think about Jack once you've tried him. Oh, Jack…” She sighs again as she says the name, and he can feel her skin shiver as the memories.

“River!”

“His hands, sweetie... and his tongue, oh the things he can do --” She keeps telling him the details and it’s too much. He feels himself blushing, embarrassed, ashamed.

“Stop it, I don't want to know!” He cuts her off, and she giggles in reply. “You're lying anyway, you would never do anything with Jack.” He defies her, challenges her to tell him the contrary. He thinks she never would, but inside, he can’t be sure, can he?

“Are you sure?” she says then, as if she’s read his mind. As he doesn’t reply, she smiles and turns on her heels.

“No! Stop.” He tries to tell her, but she’s walking away, laughing, and this is more terrifying than all the words she could say. “Tell me the truth. You can't have. I don't believe you. River, come back! I'm the Oncoming storm, you have to tell me. River!”

Her laughter echoes in the corridors of the TARDIS as he walks after her, and the ship hums appreciatively around them, happy to see her thief and her child have finally made up.

Well. Sort of. 


End file.
